We’re all the same so, just STOP IT !!
I know I promised myself a while ago that I won’t be making this public and I’ll do my best to keep in and just for me to know, but it seems that I can no longer do so. It’s pushing up on me just like lava up on a volcano. And sooner or later it’s going to explode big time. Some things are meant to be closed and sealed in a box somewhere deep inside for only yourself to know and never ever be let out. But what’s there to do when it begs to be let out?
This…this is very hard for me to even write down, not to mention sharing it with everyone else ! But there it goes, with my heart in throat and some tears in my eyes, as I remember those things…They still hurt to be quite honest ! Their imprint still feels like it’s been yesterday..
Now..Why am I sharing this with you, guys ? Well, there has been this post on Facebook that has got me all worked up and helped set the field for me to find the courage and admit some things that happened to me in the past. I am aware that admitting to this may in a way make me look vulnerable but I don’t care. I am doing it because it’s been banging on my chest’s wall for quite some time now, and no matter what I tried in order to make it go away and stay away, nothing ever helped. And we all know that once you say it out loud – or in this case, write it down so that people get to read it – in a way or another, it helps set you free. Makes you feel a little bit lighter inside.
Reading that – I don’t know if it was/is viral or nit – post on facebook, made me realize that there is nothing to be ashamed or afraid of in the simple fact of saying your story so that other get the courage to do so too at some point. I mean, what harm can it cause, really ?! I don’t think I’ll ever be able to understand what is wrong with people nowadays. Seriously ? Can we just stop objectifying women ? We’re all human here. We’re all the same. We have geelings too.Can’t you guys just show us a little respect ? Can’t you guys stop acting like that ? Knock some sense in your small brains – and I’m talking about the one that’s sustained by your head. You know, that thing that stays propped on your neck ?! That not all of you are using ?!- please ? Get your act together and stop being such assholes ! Thank you !
A few years back, some time in 2012 to be more precise the unthinkable happened. You never think it’s possible to happen to you, unless it does. Until that point, you just say to yourself : “Ah. What are the chances for it to happen to me ?”. Well, life is unpredictable and you never know what could happen.
That time I was working at a fast food, on the other side of town. I was in college back then and I thought that, I could use a job very well. Nothing wrong about this. While I was coming home from an afternoon shift, I waited for my bus to arrive for what felt an eternity, only to hop on a taxi and get home, as it was late at night and the next day I had to start all over again. There was nothing to get me ready for what was about to happen. At least I got the urge to sit in the backseat and not in front. As we got on my street, he didn’t want to stop the car where I told him to. That’s when I realized something was very off. There was no one on the street to yell at, so I did what I could, since he wouldn’t understand the meaning of “No”,”I am with someone”, “Leave me alone”. I guess it was more of an “I don’t care” than not understanding. Yes, I did panicked at first, but afterwards I got hold of myself and slapped the asshole real hard. Not to mention that, I hadn’t payed for the ride home. He should cover it just fine by himself. I was lucky it didn’t get more serious than this. I don’t even remember how fast I got out of the car. And I’m serious. All I remember is how fast I got home and the look on my mom’s face when she noticed I was a bit shaking. Because, what normal person wouldn’t !I didn’t tell her about what really happened because I didn’t want to scare her. And I think it was better this way. There wasn’t anything she could’ve done. Since then, I swore to never in my life – again – get a cab to get home. No.Way.In.Hell. Pay me a million dollars, cut me and feed me off to the fishes in the ocean but there is no way in all hell I would ever get on a cab alone. No matter if it’s day or night. It’s one thing to be whistled at, called at, and a totally another to be hit on and other things, a few meters away from your home. This is in no way normal.
The second time it happened, because it had to happen again, right ?! Like, once it wasn’t enough ! Damn you. It was in 2014 after I passed a job interview at a local cafe – it was and still is a small one, inside a big office building. I thought I was paranoid. That I still had my head wrapped around what happened two years back. But it proved wrong. I wasn’t in any way hallucinating. It was all happening again. The first day went super normal, but the second one not so much. With no shame at all kept on hitting on me like it was all normal and stuff. How can you make plans with a future employee is way, way beyond me. Actually, I think is beyond anyone’s power to comprehend that kind of thing. When you should only teach your newbie how to do the work stuff, you tell her to go ahead of you, ask her what her plans for this winter are and even say that you’d take her to the mountains with you. Uhmm…Hello. Earth to you, bastard ?! How can say and do such things ? On how many girls have you tried this ? Wait…don’t tell me, because I think I might know the answer. Imagine all of my frustration and nerves. I was beginning to feel like a dragon spitting fire. That was the last day I went there. I wasn’t about to be someone’s toy just to have a job and try and make a living. Thanks but no thanks. I went home after finishing – my last – my shift and told my mom everything. Not that I needed someone’s approval for my decision, but she saw that something was wrong with me that day and had to spill my guts to her even if I didn’t want to.
Please, don’t say you’re sorry for what happened because, I don’t want you to say it ! Take these lines and the true facts and think about them. Try and be careful out there too. No matter how old you are ! These assholes are everywhere and they’re the main reason our trust level in men has decreased so badly.