Breaking Free – Work In Progress
I take a deep breath and exhale the air ever so slowly as if it’s my last breath. Today’s the big day, and my heart is slamming against my ribs .My palms are sweating heavy and my head spins. I never done anything like this in my life and I’m nervous as hell .They say there’s a first time for anything.
You’ve never really lived until you haven’t done something that sets your soul free and makes you feel alive for the first time. And it’s exactly what I’m about to do.
This is my time. My life. My call. And my decision. I don’t care what anyone else says. I got the right to choose. Damned if I’ll let anyone get in my way to freedom. I already am like a bird that’s about to break loose from its cage and fly away.
My phone buzzes with an incoming message and snaps me out of my thoughts, which now are more like an entangled mass of metal wire. Throwing a quick glance over the suitcase ,I see it’s from Megan. My best friend and the person who’s been supporting my every choice and carefully watched from within the shadows my every step. She’s seen me at my lowest, and never, not even one single moment doubted me.
“You’re not only my very best friend, Becsie. You are my whole world, the sister I’ve always wanted but never had. I want you to remember that every time you’re alone.” That’s what she’s always told me. God, I’ll miss her so damn much, that thinking about it makes me get second thoughts about leaving.
No, Becca. This is your only fucking chance to write the story you want. Who knows, maybe even have that happy ending you deserve so much.
M: Hey, sweetheart. Are you okay ?Text me back or call me. Love you, Becsie!
Now when I sit and think about it, I realize she was oh-so-right. We are, like sisters. Like two twin raindrops, falling from the sky. Yes. That is how we are and how we’ll always be, no matter how far we may be.
Since I moved in Pico, two years ago – with my sister Clarissa – we became inseparable.
I’ve been unable to return any of her calls and this got her spooked. Truth be told, I didn’t return any calls from anyone, at all. Guess I needed time alone. Time to put an order in my so messed up thoughts and plans.
I may brought up my plan to her a few times, over dinner but I guess she thought that I was only joking. Not telling her that, that is what I am about to do, makes me feel a little guilty. It’ll break her heart for a moment or two, she might even burst out crying but she’ll get over it. I know it. She’s a tough cookie, and she’s always been.
For a moment, I only stand there and look over the text again, before hit reply.
B: I’m fine. Stop worrying so much. Can you swing by and pick me up ? Need to talk. Love you ,too hun.
M: Of course. Pick you up in 10. Better be ready when I get there.
B: Like always, sunshine. Like always. 🙂
As much as I hate leaving her behind like this…nothing else I can do. There is no other choice. I need to get the hell away from this place, and fast.
Grabbed my suitcase and started toward the door, swung around to face my bedroom one last time. I’m definitely going to miss that king-sized bed of mine and that beautiful view of the beach, but what I’ll miss even more will be Megan. As well as all the perfect moments and unforgettable memories we’ve created the past months. A house is just a house. You can replace it anytime while a true friend is forever. Irreplaceable.
Well, I guess it means goodbye. I push back the tears I feel coming and swallow the lump in my throat. Hearing the screeching sound of tires pulling over in the driveway, I run down the stairs like a child when his Mom comes home from a long working day.
I don’t even get the chance to walk out the door properly because I stop dead in my tracks once I open the door and see him.
For a moment my imagination has gone wild. It can’t be him, not here. Not now. What’s he doing here anyway ?
Declan Myles was my high school crush, the one guy that didn’t care about what others said even though he was the captain of the football team. Images of when we were together flood my mind and am transported back in the past in a instant.
Now, a big white van is pulled up right in front of my and Megan’s house, Derek surrounded by a few muscled guys moving boxes from one another. Haven’t spoken to him in what feels like ages or centuries, not two and a half years.
Throws a sharp glance over my way, seeming as surprised as I am, runs toward me.
„Beckie, oh my God, is that really you,” he says, a huge dimpled smile on his face. „Still the same gorgeous girl, ” he says while giving me an awkward hug.
„Hi, Dec.” I say, trying to compose myself. „Could say the same thing.”
„How’ve you been doing ?…After what happened with Clarrisa.” Declan says, pain etched in that deep sexy voice. He cared about us a lot, that I’m aware of, but what happened to Clarrisa a year ago changed me for good. I’m not the same smiley, happy person everyone grew up with.
„…It’s still hard to comprehend,” I say holding back tears.
“I reckon sweetheart.”
“How ? You didn’t lose someone you loved.”
“Trust me. I do.”
Not wanting to talk about my sister, I change the subject, “So…moving here ?”
“Oh. Yes, work has me moving from city to city,” he answers. “Where you off to, ” gestures toward my fallen suitcase on the terrace.
“Taking a vacation.” From everything. I add in my mind, posting a faint smile.
“Hey, dude. If you’re done with that sexy neighbor of yours, maybe you can help us here,” one of the guys screams over at him.
“Looks like I need to go. Nice catching up, hope to get another chance at this,” he says winking at me, a devilishly smile on his face.
“Nice catching up to you too, Dec. See you soon,” I say – right when Megan pulls up in the driveway. Have no clue why I’ve said ‘see you soon’ when I know I’ll never set foot, here again.
“Who’s that handsome guy you’re talking to,” she asks a wicked smile on her face.
“That’s some hot past you had there,” she adds.
“If you’re done admiring his butt…” I say through laughter,”we need to go.” Haven’t laughed in a while so it gets Megan by surprise. “It’s nice seeing and hearing you laugh again,” she says.
A shy smile appears on my face and I say, “Yeah. Good to laugh again.”
“Where to, ” she asks after we’re buckled up and the car’s put into gear.
“First stop that Italian restaurant we both love,” I say still smiling up.
“Okay, missy. What are you up to. We haven’t been to that place since…” she pauses shortly and looks at me, “your sister.”
“It’s alright, you can say the word. Time to face reality, she’s gone for a year now and I must live with that.”
“No. It’s not okay, you are not okay. Whatever it is you’re about to do…not okay either,” she says looking me in the eye for a brief time.
“I’m fine, Meg. I get that you’re worried over me,” I say.
She pulls over and I know it right there and then. This is the moment I’ve been dreading for. “You’re right, there is something I must tell you.”
“I could bet my life on it,” she says, throwing me one of her death stares.
“Don’t give me that look, you know it won’t work on me.”
“Go ahead say what you have to. Pretty sure it’ll break my heart but go ahead.”
“I’m leaving. Today. Took some time off from work,” I get ready for what’s to come, but does not happen.
“Sounds more like running away from a past you want to forget.”
“That’s the definition of vacation isn’t it,” I sarcastically add. “Besdies, I do need some time away from this city.”
“But you’ll come back, right, ” she asks, fear lining her voice.
I hesitate for a moment unsure what to say. Lie or tell her the ugly truth, that I’m not sure I’ll return to Pico anytime soon so I decide for the in between, half – life, half – truth option, “ Not sure, for now.”
“Even though you’re breaking my heart with this, I promised long time ago that I’ll respect every decision you might take,“ she says through tears.
At the airport we hug for what seems to be a lifetime, both sobing and promising to be in touch, “I’ll call you once I’m there. A friendship like ours will never die.”